Flirting human, embarrassed dragon
by FoxtrotTango543
Summary: Snotlout spends every spare moment trying and failing to impress Astrid, which Hookfang witnesses and is later teased about by all but Toothless. One day, he can't take any more, and loses his temper at his friends. They then spend their time doing their best to reconcile with the hurt Monstrous Nightmare and find a new way to deal with Snotlout.


Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and I never will. All rights go to DreamWorks, who made the movies and the series, and Cressida Cowell, the author of the books.

A/N: _Italics_ means the humans are thinking, **bold** means the dragons are talking, and _**bold italics**_ means the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Hookfang looked away as he watched Snotlout flirt with Astrid yet again. Why did he have to have the only rider that couldn't take a hint? He could already hear Barf and Belch giggling maliciously as Snotlout showed off for Astrid. Stormfly and Meatlug were laughing at his rider too. But Toothless wasn't, and that was a tiny bit of relief. Toothless would definitely hold himself to higher standards than the others.

"Hey, babe," Snotlout smiled. "Has anyone ever told you your body is like a temple?"

"Sorry, Snotlout, but I have to inform you that there are no services taking place today," Astrid responded. Stormfly smirked at Snotlout's shocked face.

**"You see that? That's how my rider gets stuff done!"** Stormfly cheered, before turning to Hookfang with a smug smile. **"Your rider should be learning from Astrid instead of pestering her, Hookfang."**

**"She's got a point, Hooky,"** Barf acknowledged. **"Astrid's totally cool, and Snotlout's a jerk."** Hookfang focused on a really interesting piece of floor.

**"Now there's something I could agree on,"** Belch agreed. **"Snotlout is so dumb. Dumber than even our riders, and that's really saying something."** Hookfang felt sick with shame. He wished he was invisible at that moment.

**"I guess he can be pretty stupid,"** Meatlug admitted. At that point, Hookfang's world began to fall apart. Even Meatlug agreed with them. Meatlug, who was nice to just about everyone! _**Well, not everyone**__**,**** clearly,**_ Hookfang thought. _**My human must be an exception to the rule.**_

**"I'm sure Snotlout will eventually grow up and change,"** Hookfang cautiously suggested. Stormfly, Barf and Belch looked at him for a few seconds . . . and laughed right in his face. Hookfang had never felt so ashamed in his life.

**"Snotlout, grow up?"** Stormfly sniggered. **"That sounds impossible!"**

**"How dumb must you be to think of that?"** Belch laughed.

**"As they always say, like rider, like dragon,"** Barf remarked.

**"Hey, leave the poor guy alone!"** Toothless yelled. **"He's not in control of what Snotlout says, so stop acting like he is!"** Hookfang felt immensely grateful to the Night Fury. Thank Thor for Toothless. He was the only one who didn't judge him to be the same as his profoundly stupid human.

**"He could at least try to do something about his thick-skulled human,"** Stormfly justified. **"Let him know that he crossed the line and he can't get away with this. Standing by and letting this happen proves that Hookfang has absolutely no self-respect."**

**"You said it!"** Barf and Belch cheered, while Meatlug nodded complacently. Hookfang felt utterly humiliated, but he couldn't leave. But there seemed to be some sort of relief at hand, because that was when Snotlout decided to storm out of the lesson.

"Bunch of losers," Snotlout muttered. "Come on, Hookfang, we're leaving." With a sigh, Hookfang obeyed his rider, cringing as Barf and Belch snickered that maybe Hookfang had been trained by Snotlout after all.

* * *

As he sat in his pen at night, Hookfang thought about what Stormfly had said about him. The Nadder's words were burned into his skull.

**". . . try to do something about his thick-skulled human . . . he crossed the line . . . absolutely no self-respect . . ."**

_**Just how badly do they think of me because of what my human does?**_ the red dragon thought miserably. _**This isn't my fault! I didn't know about any of this! This has got to stop!**_

A spark of an idea formed inside Hookfang's scaly head.

_**This**_** does **_**have to stop,**_ he thought. _**And I'm going to stop it.**_

* * *

The next day, Hookfang showed up at the dragon training lesson without the black cloud of shame that usually accompanied him. **"Hey, what's up with Hookfang? He looks different,"** Stormfly muttered.

**"I'd be happy if I got to leave dragon training earlier than everyone else,"** Barf muttered to Belch. Toothless wasn't so sure about that.

**"Either my eyes are playing tricks on me, or I'm looking at a dragon with a plan,"** Toothless predicted.

**"Your eyes are playing tricks on you,"** Stormfly, Barf, Belch and Meatlug told him. As Snotlout dismounted from Hookfang, he started up his usual routine of tormenting innocent, unsuspecting people. Today, he started by punching Fishlegs in the shoulder.

"Hey!" Fishlegs whined.

"You were in the way, loser," Snotlout told him, as he walked past him to the twins, who were also in the way. He shoved them aside and continued walking, ignoring their protests entirely as he focused on Astrid. "Hey, Astrid, I've been looking all over for you. Didn't you hear me?"

"I heard you punching Fishlegs and pushing the twins around, literally," Astrid pointed out. "So, yeah, I heard you."

"But, babe, how did you hear the call of Snotlout and not run towards him with open arms?" Snotlout asked, smiling at her with a sickly-sweet, creep smile that could turn milk sour and leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth. But just as he was about to approach her, he felt himself being lifted up and carried away from her. Eventually, he was put down on the opposite site of the arena. As he wildly looked for the person who'd dumped him there, he saw . . . Hookfang?!

"What are you doing?" Snotlout screamed. "Couldn't you tell that I was talking to Astrid, you pig-headed dragon?" Hookfang growled with anger as Snotlout whimpered. A few flicks of his tail later, and Snotlout had been locked into a dragon pen by none other than Hookfang. The red Monstrous Nightmare flipped the latch downwards to lock it, and finally relaxed as his captive screamed and cursed inside.

**"Hookfang, that's incredible!"** Stormfly cheered. **"I can't believe you were able to do something that cool!"**

**"That was the coolest thing ever!"** Barf and Belch cheered.

**"That was a relief. Thank you,"** Meatlug smiled. But Hookfang ignored them all as he searched for someone that he saw as genuine: Toothless.

**"Well, Toothless?"** Hookfang asked. **"How did I do?"**

**"You aced it, big guy,"** Toothless soothed. The other dragons were getting impatient.

**"How come you only listen to him?"** Stormfly asked.

**"Why not? He's nice to me,"** Hookfang answered.

**"Aren't we nice to you?"** Barf asked. **"Or do you think you're better than us or something?"**

**"Aww, did we hurt your widdle feelings?"** Belch cooed mockingly. Stormfly giggled, and Hookfang lost it.

**"Fine! You want to know why I only listen to Toothless and not you? BECAUSE YOU'RE THE MOST HORRIBLE, JUDGEMENTAL, NARROW-MINDED, VILE DRAGONS I'VE EVER KNOWN IN MY LIFE!"** Hookfang roared. Stormfly gasped. Barf and Belch gaped. Meatlug took an involuntary step back and whimpered with fear and shock. Toothless wasn't surprised at all. He figured Hookfang would snap eventually, and the time had come.

**"Hookfang, you take that back,"** the blue Nadder hissed. **"NOW!"**

**"And why should I do that? It's true,"** Hookfang replied. **"All you and Barf and Belch and Meatlug do is talk about how dumb my human is, and when I try to stop you, you talk about how dumb I am, and go on about a dragon was usually just like their rider, so if Snotlout was dumb, then I had to be dumb, too. And whenever Toothless stood up for me, you would argue with him. Now I finally did the thing that you thought I should've done a long time ago, and I want to talk to the only dragon that was nice to me, and you think that you're entitled to the same respect I have for Toothless while doing absolutely nothing to deserve it? Who do you think you are?"** Stormfly, Barf and Belch and Meatlug fidgeted nervously under Hookfang's furious glare. None of them dared to look him in the eyes.

**"Hookfang, we're sorry,"** Meatlug replied.

**"Save it for a dragon who'll believe you,"** Hookfang replied, as he unlocked Snotlout, picked him up and flew away.

**"Wait! Hookfang, wait!"** Stormfly yelled, but Hookfang was too far away and he didn't want to listen to her anyway. Stormfly sighed as she watched Hookfang fly off. Turning to Barf, Belch, Meatlug and Toothless, she asked her friends, **"How are we going to get Hookfang to trust us again? He hates us and won't go near any of us unless he absolutely had to!"**

**"Not all of us,"** Toothless replied. **"Out of all of us, Hookfang only wants to see me. I'll talk to him, try to get you and him to come to some sort of an agreement."**

**"Thank you!"** Stormfly smiled. She was going to say more, but then the dragon training lesson ended and they had to go home.

* * *

Hookfang sulked in his pen, concentrating on the wall. He couldn't move from there for two reasons: he didn't want to and Snotlout had locked him in there as a punishment for 'embarrassing him so much'. _**As if that guy would know anything about being embarrassed,**_ Hookfang thought bitterly. _**Just about everything that comes out of his mouth makes the other dragons laugh at him and at me. If he knew about that, he'd have shut up a long time ago.**_ He was in his own little world when he heard a twig snap under someone's foot. **"Who's there?"** Hookfang called.

**"Hookfang, relax. It's me, Toothless,"** Toothless cooed. Hookfang settled down almost immediately. Hookfang knew Toothless could hold his own, but he wasn't a threat to him. He was never that mean.

**"Thank Thor it's you,"** Hookfang sighed, turning around to face Toothless. **"For a moment there, I thought it was one of the others."** Toothless was taken aback by Hookfang's bluntness.

**"The others?"** the Night Fury repeated, not sure what he was hearing.

**"Yeah, the others,"** Hookfang replied. **"A blue Nadder, a green Hideous Zippleback and a brown Gronckle."**

**"Um, Hookfang, what would you do if the others wanted to make it up to you somehow? Would you accept it or not?"** Toothless asked. Hookfang thought before giving an answer.

**"I think I'd accept it, so long as they never did it again,"** Hookfang decided. Suddenly, the two dragons hear the unmistakable sound of a creaky door opening and closing and someone's footsteps getting closer and closer. **"Somebody's coming! Toothless, you have to go, now!"**

**"Got it!"** Toothless said, running home. He would have a lot to tell his worried friends about what Hookfang said tomorrow.

* * *

_The next day, at dawn . . ._

**"Well,"** Stormfly asked, impatient. **"How did it go?"**

**"He's progressed to not even using your names,"** Toothless reported. **"He talked about a blue Nadder, a green Hideous Zippleback and a brown Gronckle and never said Barf, Belch, Stormfly or Meatlug once."** All three dragons looked truly ashamed at how much their old friend now hated them. What could they do to put this right?

**"So we'll never get Hookfang back?"** Barf and Belch chorused.

**"He also said that if you wanted to make it up to him, he'd accept it, just so long as you never did anything like this again,"** Toothless explained. Meatlug and Stormfly let out a sigh of relief. All was not lost after all.

**"So he wants an apology and a promise that well never do it again?"** Stormfly asked. **"Oh, that's such a relief. We'll do it today at the dragon training lesson. He can't get away from us then. Our humans would have locked the gate to stop it a second time."** Toothless let out a sigh of relief. His friends were a lot of things, but they weren't stupid enough to make a mistake twice and they didn't want to lose their friend over things that they could have easily fixed themselves.

**"Good. Now, you need to get home. It's getting light and our humans usually wake up at this time,"** Toothless replied, as he jumped onto rooftops to get home. For a dragon that weighed in at a literal tonne, he was as agile and as silent as a cat. The other dragons took the hint and flew off to their rider's respective houses. Hookfang was going to find himself around much better friends very soon.

* * *

_At dragon training . . ._

**"There he is,"** Meatlug whispered, as Hookfang stayed far away from the traitors that he once saw as friends. **"But how do we talk to him?"**

**"I'll do it,"** Stormfly decided. **"Today is a training exercise to see how long and how well they can survive without their dragons. You can thank Astrid."**

**"How do you know that?"** Barf asked. Belch rolled his eyes.

**"Stormfly lives with Astrid, remember?"** Belch explained impatiently to the other head of the Zippleback. **"How do I share a body with such an idiot?"**

**"Oh, shut up,"** Toothless hissed. **"Now's our chance. The humans are leaving and they're locking the gate behind them to keep us in."** Hookfang tensed up as the other dragons started to approach him. He unsheathed his claws and growled. The scales on Hookfang's head were set alight, setting off a chain reaction that spread to his entire body.

**"What do you want?"** he growled, the pupils in his eyes becoming narrow slits. **"Oh, hey, Toothless."**

**"Hookfang, we need to talk to you,"** Stormfly stammered, instantly nervous. **"It's . . . well, it's about the stuff we've said to you."**

**"What we mean to say is that we're sorry,"** Meatlug admitted. **"We're really, really sorry."**

**"You should never have been judged to be the same as Snotlout,"** Barf apologized. **"We were wrong."**

**"This will never happen to you ever again, we promise,"** Belch swore. Hookfang took a step back with shock. His friends were acting really weird all of a sudden. They were never this nice to him, except for maybe Toothless, but not even he was this nice. Something was wrong.

**"Really?"** Hookfang asked. **"So you'll never do this again? Is this true?"** Stormfly swallowed down a lump in her throat. Hookfang wasn't willing to believe them.

**"Hookfang, this is all real, I promise you,"** Toothless assured. **"They're all really sorry for being so mean to you and want to make it up to you."**

**"They do?"** Hookfang asked. **"Never again?"** Everyone nodded.

**"You'll never have to hear about us talking about Snotlout ever again,"** Barf and Belch told him. Hookfang's head was spinning. How did he respond to this? Acts of kindness to him were few and far between. Eventually, he had an idea of how to handle the situation.

**"Can you promise me one thing, please?"** Hookfang asked.

**"Of course!"** Stormfly agreed immediately. She was willing to do anything to get her friend back.

**"The next time Snotlout's a jerk, let me handle it,"** Hookfang replied. **"I can take him on just fine."**

**"We know that you can take him on. We saw it ourselves,"** Toothless laughed, poking Hookfang's side with his paw. Hookfang squeaked and moved out of the way, which was noticed by everyone.** "Hookfang, are you OK?"**

**"Yeah, just don't poke me there,"** Hookfang told him. Toothless became rather mischievous upon hearing those words.

**"What, here?"** Toothless asked, poking the same spot a few more times. Hookfang resisted valiantly, and Toothless was about to give up when he heard a stifled giggle. When the slip-up was realized, Hookfang gulped and looked around at his friends, who all looked pretty amused at what Toothless was doing. Which was why nobody did a thing when the Night Fury pounced.

**"Hookfang, I never knew you were so sensitive,"** Stormfly cooed, taking a step back to let Toothless mess with Hookfang a little more.

**"I think this is going to be a lot of fun to watch,"** Barf commented.

**"Totally,"** Belch agreed.

**"Oh, Hookfang looks adorable when he's smiling like that!"** Meatlug cooed.

**"See, Hookfang? They like it when you're like this!"** Toothless grinned, letting his paws roam upwards towards his ribs before counting them, checking every once in a while if he'd missed a rib by sticking a dulled-down claw into the gaps. Hookfang eventually broke down into giggles.

**"Toothless, gohohohohohoho easy!"** Hookfang giggled. **"It tihihihickles! Ahahahahahaha!"** When Toothless found an extra sensitive spot, Hookfang yelped and his pupils widened, unintentionally giving him the most adorable set of hatchling eyes ever.

**"No, Hookfang, I'm not going easy on you any time soon,"** Toothless replied. **"Not until we can come to some sort of agreement."**

**"Like whahahahahahahat?"** Hookfang asked through his laughter. Toothless had abandoned his sides and turned his attention to his ribs. **"It's not toohoohoo bad, rihihihight?"**

**"Of course not,"** Toothless assured. **"I would never do anything to hurt or embarrass you. That would be wrong."**

**"Then whahahahahat do yohohohohou wahahahahahant?"** Hookfang asked, whining as Toothless went much harder on him than he had before.

**"I want you to relax,"** Toothless replied. **"You're constantly on the alert, always paranoid and irritable. This can't possibly be good for you. So, are you going to relax and have some fun?"**

**"OK, OK! I'LL HAVE FUN! I'LL RELAX! JUST STOP! STAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Hookfang conceded, forcing Toothless to stop. He laid the proud Monstrous Nightmare down to rest, and patiently stayed with him as he caught his breath.

**"Are you OK? I didn't mean to go so hard on you. I really didn't,"** Toothless apologized. Hookfang looked at him, grinned, heaved himself up and tackled Toothless to the floor. **"Ack! What are you doing, Hook-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

**"You thought I wouldn't get revenge, huh?"** Hookfang asked, as he let claws trace Toothless' ribs and a sneaky tail burrow into his tummy. Occasionally, Toothless' wings would be on the receiving end of vicious scratches, making him shriek with laughter. **"****Huh? You thought you'd get away with this, didn't you, you little sneak?"**

**"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOOKFAHAHAHAHAHANG!"** Toothless pleaded, as his hysterical laughter echoed through the arena. The other dragons had to cover their ears, Toothless' ticklish shrieks were just so loud.

**"And I thought I had it bad,"** Hookfang teased. **"Don't worry, Toothless, I won't treat you as badly as you treated me. I'll be much, much worse."**

**"NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MOHOHOHOHOHOHOHORE! I CAN'T TAHAHAHAHAHAKE THIHIHIHIHIS!"** Toothless begged. Under his ebony scales, he had turned bright pink with embarrassment and ticklish mirth. Hookfang decided to be evil about it, and all in the name of revenge. He took a deep breath, lunged at Toothless' tummy and blew a long, hard raspberry.

**"PFFFFFFFFFT!"**

**"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Toothless screamed, the sound of his hysteria echoing through the entire village and startling some of the villagers. **"HOOKFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHANG! I'M SORRY!"**

**"Now, don't tire yourself out just yet, Toothless,"** Hookfang taunted. **"Our humans aren't going to be back for ages, and I want to play with you for a _very_ long time."** And with that, Toothless was on the receiving end of many more raspberries after that. Toothless wished that something would go wrong with the training exercise and all the humans would be forced to come back early. Well, early enough for him to not pass out from Hookfang's sadistic idea of revenge. Suffice to say, when Hiccup came back to get Toothless, he found that the dragon had to be kept in the arena for the night for severe exhaustion. Although nobody had any clue as to what could have exhausted him so much.

* * *

_A few days later . . . _

The other dragons sighed as Snotlout strutted around the arena making a fool of himself, even worse than before. These days, he would latch onto the Valkyrie's arm like a bracelet and refuse to let go. Astrid complained that he had a ridiculously strong grip. Snotlout's response was: "I know! Wanna start properly thinking about dating me?"

**"Hookfang, wanna step in?"** Barf drawled. **"You did say you could handle him."**

**"Come on, Hookfang! He's getting way too big for his boots! Please?"** Stormfly pleaded.

**"Got it covered,"** Hookfang grinned. **"Just be quiet for a few seconds."** Hookfang tilted his head right, left . . . and then shot a fireball (much smaller than usual) at Snotlout. It hit its target of Snotlout's rear, and slowly lit Snotlout's clothes, then his skin. Once Snotlout realized where the fire was, he screamed and raced to extinguish his backside in a trough. Astrid (who had witnessed everything) laughed, scratched Hookfang's special sweet spot and went on her way, linking arms with an oblivious Hiccup. That was when Snotlout realized who the source was, and he freaked out.

"Hookfang, what were you thinking? I just lost my girlfriend because of you!" Snotlout screamed. He started throwing a massive mantrum (man-tantrum) in front of Hookfang, who thought it was hilarious.

**"You know what? I should do this more often,"** Hookfang decided.

And that was what started the tradition of Hookfang setting Snotlout on fire for many years and burnt trousers to come.


End file.
